All That and a Pack of Gum
My wayward editor, Darth Kel, has been posting semi-regularly recently about the silliness she's seen on various commercials. It's always nice to hear that the left coasters have dumb spots too between their episodes of Springer. But I've got her beat. One of the local car dealerships was running a commercial tonight. One of those super-amateurish deals where the owner stumbles over his lines and brings his kids out, all of whom look embarassed to be there.
Let me start by saying,as an old radio vet, I can tell you we pretty much all HATE sponsor records. Once you've done the radio bit long enough you can nail a spot in one take, two at most. Run the music, live to tape, usually straight to the cart. 10 minutes in the production room tops. Owner records though, often require 10, 15, I've even seen 30 or more takes, all on the reel to reel so you can (hopefully) splice bits of all of them together to make one 30 second ad that doesn't make your sponsor sound like a complete moron. An hour or so in the booth and another 30 minutes or so putting it all together.
Anyway, that's a tangent. This spot tonight featured the owner of the dealership and his kids (one of whom was ACTIVELY trying to shuffle away from the camera so as not to be involved with this embarassment). He began like normal, fumbling his way through the Cobalts, Luminas, and Suburbans on sale. Then it got weird. He mumbled something about celebrating "fresh breath" and informed all the viewing audience that this dealership would be giving a FREE! pack of Chiclets to everyone who comes in for a test drive.
A free pack of Chiclets...
I know the local area dealerships don't have the financial capital to compete with the Nashville dealerships that offer Titans tickets, money, or sometimes even Carribean cruises to anyone who test drives. But gum? Who came up with the idea of gum? Was the owner watching one of those bigger dealerships who offered football tickets and thought "that's what I should do too." *casts about on his desk* "What should I give away? Stapler? No. Pencil? No. Copy paper? No. Too expensive. Paper clips? No. Wait! This is it! Gum! Everyone loves gum! Johnny! Get our ad agency on the phone. I want a new commercial done today! A pack of gum for every test drive! Yes, I said gum! No it's not a bad idea. You're fired!"
I admit that I'm not an advertising major. Advertising is in the same college as my major, but a different emphasis. But I do know enough through my days in radio to have a rudimentary idea of what works and doesn't work. My highly tuned senses are telling me that offering something that anyone can get for $.59 at the local Qwik Mart is not going to be a major incentive to lure people in. Maybe that's just me, I don't know...
Maybe I should learn something from this guy. He's obviously more successful than me. Maybe I can turn this around to help my wife's flagging candle and soap making business and reclaim some of my living room. I can even offer a choice. Buy a candle from Phoenix and Dragon and, for a limited time, you'll receive a free ball of lint from my dryer! Or if lint is not your cup of tea, how about a cup of tea? One free teabag for orders over $50. For orders over $100, you get a blank cd-r! You can't beat that! Come on down!
Or maybe not...
-Gryph
Let me start by saying,as an old radio vet, I can tell you we pretty much all HATE sponsor records. Once you've done the radio bit long enough you can nail a spot in one take, two at most. Run the music, live to tape, usually straight to the cart. 10 minutes in the production room tops. Owner records though, often require 10, 15, I've even seen 30 or more takes, all on the reel to reel so you can (hopefully) splice bits of all of them together to make one 30 second ad that doesn't make your sponsor sound like a complete moron. An hour or so in the booth and another 30 minutes or so putting it all together.
Anyway, that's a tangent. This spot tonight featured the owner of the dealership and his kids (one of whom was ACTIVELY trying to shuffle away from the camera so as not to be involved with this embarassment). He began like normal, fumbling his way through the Cobalts, Luminas, and Suburbans on sale. Then it got weird. He mumbled something about celebrating "fresh breath" and informed all the viewing audience that this dealership would be giving a FREE! pack of Chiclets to everyone who comes in for a test drive.
A free pack of Chiclets...
I know the local area dealerships don't have the financial capital to compete with the Nashville dealerships that offer Titans tickets, money, or sometimes even Carribean cruises to anyone who test drives. But gum? Who came up with the idea of gum? Was the owner watching one of those bigger dealerships who offered football tickets and thought "that's what I should do too." *casts about on his desk* "What should I give away? Stapler? No. Pencil? No. Copy paper? No. Too expensive. Paper clips? No. Wait! This is it! Gum! Everyone loves gum! Johnny! Get our ad agency on the phone. I want a new commercial done today! A pack of gum for every test drive! Yes, I said gum! No it's not a bad idea. You're fired!"
I admit that I'm not an advertising major. Advertising is in the same college as my major, but a different emphasis. But I do know enough through my days in radio to have a rudimentary idea of what works and doesn't work. My highly tuned senses are telling me that offering something that anyone can get for $.59 at the local Qwik Mart is not going to be a major incentive to lure people in. Maybe that's just me, I don't know...
Maybe I should learn something from this guy. He's obviously more successful than me. Maybe I can turn this around to help my wife's flagging candle and soap making business and reclaim some of my living room. I can even offer a choice. Buy a candle from Phoenix and Dragon and, for a limited time, you'll receive a free ball of lint from my dryer! Or if lint is not your cup of tea, how about a cup of tea? One free teabag for orders over $50. For orders over $100, you get a blank cd-r! You can't beat that! Come on down!
Or maybe not...
-Gryph
posted by Gryphon at 9:51 PM
6 Comments:
Chicklets! Where, where? I'll drive all the way back to Tennessee, just give me the gum!
Or not.
I'll tell you one thing: never do you appreciate digital media as much as when you've got client records. Sure, like you said, you and I can cut a take in one... but you've got to love being able to cut and delete a client's multiple stumbles digitally rather than hover over a reel with a large blade....
Still, I can't say I don't miss the nuances of the art form that are getting lost... cuing vinyl and splicing magnetic tape... lost arts. Sigh.
Actually, if the ball of lint is large enough, I might be interested. Drier lint can be used to stuff toy animals. My mother saved Kool-Aid scoops and egg cartons, so don't overlook those as giveaways, either.
The drier lint might not be such a good idea then. Trying to sell crafting stuff (like candles) to crafters is never a good thing. It's easier to sell to the folks who don't understand how candles are made and think it's "magic."
Yeah, the "I could do that myself" mentality is rampant among crafters. You really need to market to the "how did they do that?" and the "I could never do that" crowds. Though a lot of the "I could do that myself" market seldom does. I'd patronzie Joan's products, but I react badly to scented candles- asthmatic. *Sigh* Hard to have a romantic life when you have been married for 38 years and are allergic to candles. *Sigh again*
That's the good thing about having custom made products. We have customers who don't do heavily scented stuff well. I'll have Joan whip you up a freebie low-scent soy candle. Almost no smoke, just enough scent to know it's there. Consider it a "My Only Fan" gift...
I will cherish it forever.
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