Yeah, Yeah...
One of the three people who actually read this thing (and there are only three, I've counted) has officially fussed at me, in e-mail no less, about my lack of updates recently. I know. I've been awful. So anyway, to fill space and provide as much non-entertaining content as possible to my faithful (and probably sleepy by now) readers, I figured I'd steal from the rarely funny and always overrated David Letterman and present my Top Ten Excuses Why I Haven't Blogged in a Month. Some are true, some no so much. You figure which is which...
10. Joan's uncle died last week so it's been in a haze of crying, packing, going to Ohio, returning from Ohio, etc for the last week or so. Road tripping drains me more than exercising so I've been too pooped, emotionally and physically, to do much that requires thought.
9. The dog ate my column... (I tried to use this on my editor once when I actually had a column with a deadline. She was not amused.)
8. Joan and I have joined a gym to try and help us with our weight loss in addition to the Atkins. I get home at 6, rush to get dinner made and eaten by 7, when we join our friends at the gym. Around 8:30 we come home tired, sweaty, and devoid of column ideas...
7. I was in the hospital recovering from a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
6. I caught the last bit of Elektra on Showtime, fell asleep and banged my head, giving me a limited form of amnesia that only makes me forget column ideas (and Valentine's Day. Really honey, that's why I forgot...)
5. I was planning to blog, but Iron Chef had Battle Octopus and I GOTTA see that honey (this one, much to my wife's chagrin, is all too true).
4. I was waiting to see if Kate would really come break my legs aka Annie Wilkes. Turns out she would...
3. I'm doing my part for the environment by not using up the valuable electrons usually wasted with my drivel.
2. If JK Rowling can take two years between published works, so can I...
and the #1 reason why I haven't blogged in a while is...
1. I'm really not interesting enough to sustain one.
There you go Kate. You can put the axe down. Really. Put down the axe. Aaaaaargh!
10. Joan's uncle died last week so it's been in a haze of crying, packing, going to Ohio, returning from Ohio, etc for the last week or so. Road tripping drains me more than exercising so I've been too pooped, emotionally and physically, to do much that requires thought.
9. The dog ate my column... (I tried to use this on my editor once when I actually had a column with a deadline. She was not amused.)
8. Joan and I have joined a gym to try and help us with our weight loss in addition to the Atkins. I get home at 6, rush to get dinner made and eaten by 7, when we join our friends at the gym. Around 8:30 we come home tired, sweaty, and devoid of column ideas...
7. I was in the hospital recovering from a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
6. I caught the last bit of Elektra on Showtime, fell asleep and banged my head, giving me a limited form of amnesia that only makes me forget column ideas (and Valentine's Day. Really honey, that's why I forgot...)
5. I was planning to blog, but Iron Chef had Battle Octopus and I GOTTA see that honey (this one, much to my wife's chagrin, is all too true).
4. I was waiting to see if Kate would really come break my legs aka Annie Wilkes. Turns out she would...
3. I'm doing my part for the environment by not using up the valuable electrons usually wasted with my drivel.
2. If JK Rowling can take two years between published works, so can I...
and the #1 reason why I haven't blogged in a while is...
1. I'm really not interesting enough to sustain one.
There you go Kate. You can put the axe down. Really. Put down the axe. Aaaaaargh!
posted by Gryphon at 8:56 PM
2 Comments:
As the one-time editor who knows better than to blame Sasha the Wonder Dog, I can also deny your claim not to be interesting/entertianing enough. Katie Wilkes is not the only one harumphing at your lack of posts. However... condolences on the death, congrats on the will power to work out, and get over the Octopus already. ;)
HE LIVES!!! And several of my friends read your blog, so you have to revise your readership list.
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