Harry Potter and the Needlessly Annoying Teenagers
My wife, being a huge Harry Potter fanatic, insisted we go see the new movie last night. I am just happy she didn't make me wear dress robes and a pointy hat... All in all, a pretty decent movie. Lots of action and some long needed character development from secondary characters who Rowling had been painting with a pretty broad brush previously (although I still think Lucius Malfoy is the modern day incarnation of Snidely Whiplash. All he needs is a moustache to twirl).
The movie also reminded me why I don't go to movies any more. When the wife mentioned going to this one I had one requirement before I'd go with her. "We have to go to the 9pm showing," I said. "There will be less annoying teenagers."
I know, I know. I was a teenager once. People tell me I was probably annoying too. And I certainly was. But not like this. We didn't have cell phones when I was a teenager. We didn't find it humourous to call the person one row over and loudly talk about whether Josh or Tad liked Amber. Also, I grew up poor. Dirt poor. Poor enough that the poor kids in class pitied me. When I went to the movies, it was a major investment. If I dropped that kind of change, I was by God gonna WATCH the movie. Amazing concept that...
But apparently the children at this show were not under the same financial constraints I'm under. Because the movie was less an experience for them as it was a place to come and loudly talk to their buddies... Inside the theater... While the movie is going on.
Halfway through the movie, I'm trying to watch Harry risk his life fighting dragons and I'm not engrossed in the picture, worrying about Potter and his fateful flight. I'm having to listen to someone apparently named Kayla who was in deep conversation with someone named Bridget about something or other.
At this point, my brain is imagining a phone call I plan to make on Monday.
"Senator Frist's office."
"Yes, I'd like to ask the Senator to introduce legislation to expand the use of the death penalty."
"Ok... What for?"
"Using cell phones in movie theaters."
"Isn't that annoying?"
"It is. First degree annoying. Punishable by death."
"The senator has been working on that legislation since someone talked through all of Under the Tuscan Sun."
"Senator Frist watched Under the Tuscan Sun?"
"Er... I meant Senator Frist's wife saw Under the Tuscan Sun. The Senator only watches movies featuring Vin Diesel and The Rock."
"Riiight... Just get on the death penalty thing, eh?"
Or maybe not...
Am I overreacting here? I feel like I might be but darn it, movies cost $9 now. With soda you're looking at close to $30 for two of us. That's a lot of change to plunk down. I'd like to actually, y'know, HEAR the movie I'm watching. But maybe that's just me. I'm sure Harry Potter could wizard up a spell to shut these teenagers up, but me, it just continues to strengthen my resolve to leave the movies for Netflix for the most part.
Next up for the theater, The Chronicles of Narnia. I just hope the lion eats anyone under 18...
-Gryph
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either..."
-Dick Cavett
NP: Moxy Fruvous "Thornhill"
The movie also reminded me why I don't go to movies any more. When the wife mentioned going to this one I had one requirement before I'd go with her. "We have to go to the 9pm showing," I said. "There will be less annoying teenagers."
I know, I know. I was a teenager once. People tell me I was probably annoying too. And I certainly was. But not like this. We didn't have cell phones when I was a teenager. We didn't find it humourous to call the person one row over and loudly talk about whether Josh or Tad liked Amber. Also, I grew up poor. Dirt poor. Poor enough that the poor kids in class pitied me. When I went to the movies, it was a major investment. If I dropped that kind of change, I was by God gonna WATCH the movie. Amazing concept that...
But apparently the children at this show were not under the same financial constraints I'm under. Because the movie was less an experience for them as it was a place to come and loudly talk to their buddies... Inside the theater... While the movie is going on.
Halfway through the movie, I'm trying to watch Harry risk his life fighting dragons and I'm not engrossed in the picture, worrying about Potter and his fateful flight. I'm having to listen to someone apparently named Kayla who was in deep conversation with someone named Bridget about something or other.
At this point, my brain is imagining a phone call I plan to make on Monday.
"Senator Frist's office."
"Yes, I'd like to ask the Senator to introduce legislation to expand the use of the death penalty."
"Ok... What for?"
"Using cell phones in movie theaters."
"Isn't that annoying?"
"It is. First degree annoying. Punishable by death."
"The senator has been working on that legislation since someone talked through all of Under the Tuscan Sun."
"Senator Frist watched Under the Tuscan Sun?"
"Er... I meant Senator Frist's wife saw Under the Tuscan Sun. The Senator only watches movies featuring Vin Diesel and The Rock."
"Riiight... Just get on the death penalty thing, eh?"
Or maybe not...
Am I overreacting here? I feel like I might be but darn it, movies cost $9 now. With soda you're looking at close to $30 for two of us. That's a lot of change to plunk down. I'd like to actually, y'know, HEAR the movie I'm watching. But maybe that's just me. I'm sure Harry Potter could wizard up a spell to shut these teenagers up, but me, it just continues to strengthen my resolve to leave the movies for Netflix for the most part.
Next up for the theater, The Chronicles of Narnia. I just hope the lion eats anyone under 18...
-Gryph
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either..."
-Dick Cavett
NP: Moxy Fruvous "Thornhill"
posted by Gryphon at 9:14 AM
3 Comments:
Play hookie and go to the matinee while the little darlings are in school next time. GRYPHON! You went to a Harry Potter movie! And you liked it! The BOOKS are MUCH, MUCH better. You should read them :)
Oh I've been to all the movies. And I'm currently working my way through the series. I'm on the third book now. Decent.
Amen! Problem is... it's not just annoying teenagers that overuse their cell phones... and it's not just in movie theatres, either. ANYONE who goes ANYWHERE in public and answers or dials his phone in front of strangers should be put to death. Not that I've got an extreme view of the issue or anything.... Still, I grant that the movies are an especially annoying case, since -- for those of us who actually WORK for the money to go out -- you might have had to spend three to five hours at work to enjoy those two hours away from it. No snot-nosed allowance grubber should be allowed to spoil that.
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