Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Those Who Can't, Judge

My good friend Darth Kel posted a video on her blog recently from America Has Talent. It was of a couple who had a whole routine based around being quick change artists. Pretty interesting, but the part that confounded me more was that David Hasselhoff, of all people, appeared to be a judge on the show. Having a dislike for reality television that is well documented in this blog, I had never seen the show and had no idea.

David Hasselhoff? Seriously? Having David Hasselhoff judge if you have talent is like having Ryan Leaf evaluate you for the NFL or Paula Abdul tell you if you can sing.

Oh, wait...

Apparently the criteria for judging a talent on reality television is a total lack of the talent you're judging. This got me to thinking. With my background in Mass Communications, I thought I might be able to cash in on this Reality TV talent show thing with a few ideas of my own. Since you guys are my most loyal readers, I thought I'd offer them up here first to get your opinions on which ones I should take to the networks.

Stand-Up Comedy Star: Contestants compete to see who is the funniest comedian, trying to impress guest judges Sinbad, Carrot Top, and Bob Saget.

I Want to Be a Playboy Bunny: Beautiful women compete to see who will bare all in the pages of Playboy. Guest judges include Gloria Steinam, Hillary Clinton, and Bea Arthur.

So You Want to Start a Dot-Com: A group of techies vie to win a contract to co-found the next Google with their partner, Senator Ted "the internet is made of tubes" Stevens.

America's High Priestess: A group of wanna-be Wiccans show off their spell-casting and tree-hugging skills to earn the title of "America's High Priestess". Celebrity judges for this contest will be Pat Buchanan, Billy Graham, and Pat Robertson.

What do you think, sirs?