Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Post-Oscar Random Thoughts

Random thoughts from my lonely hotel room viewing of the Oscars this year...

First, the "lonely hotel room." Add "haunted" to that, as well as "horrid." Econolodges are usually decent. The one in Martin is not. It started when I called for my reservation. She informed me that the only King room she had was a smoking room. Odd, I thought, being Martin, Tn. but I ran with it. I have friends who are smokers so the smell doesn't bother me. When I get there, they've got three cars in the parking lot, all on the other side of the motel from me. That's full? When I got in my room, it got worse. There was something screwy and haunted with the lights as every time I shifted around on the bed, the lights would blink. Spooky...

Now that my hotel complaint is out of the way, on to the Oscars...

First, seriously, how much fucking money would it take to get Billy Crystal back? Seriously. I enjoyed Jon Stewart last year more than most but he still wasn't Billy Crystal, or even Whoopi Goldberg, and that's sad. Ellen was orders of magnitude worse. She was only saved from being history's worst Oscar host by David Letterman. Next time, just grab someone off the street, or better, just have Jack Nicholson host the damn thing. They spent half the night on reaction shots of him anyway.

The right movie won Best Picture, although with all the surprises during the night I was sure Little Miss Sunshine was going to buck the comedy curse and steal a win.

Good job, Hollywood. You finally figured out that Martin Scorcese is a pretty good director. You're only 30 years behind the rest of the world...

If they ever do a movie of Al Gore's life, Bob Saget needs to play the lead. Aside from the fact that Al Gore looks like Bob Saget after a few buffet binges, he also has a similar delivery with his jokes. No, that's not a compliment...

Someone get Melissa Etheridge a lozenge, for pete's sake...

Let me get this straight. Pan's Labyrinth wins almost everything else it's nominated for, it's been seen by millions of people around the world, it takes in $30 million in revenue, and it gets beaten for Best Picture by some German movie that I'll bet my house down payment fund half of the Academy voters didn't see? Success doesn't equal quality (see Titanic) but success plus critical acclaim should probably be rewarded.

Happy Feet? Seriously? Dancing penguins? What the hell were you people smoking?

Abigail Breslin is going to be a star. She reminds me of Haley Joel Osment when he presented at the Oscars at that age. Great poise and she nailed her lines better than most of the adults and certainly better than the Fresh Princeling.

Those shadow tumbler people were kind of cool, in a silly sort of way. Bonus points for doing a passable "Snakes on a Plane."

Poor Peter O'Toole. It just wasn't your year. Alan Arkin was just too too strong. While I didn't pick him as a "should win", I'm pretty happy he did.

The clips they ran moved Last King of Scotland up my Netflix queue. Forest Whitaker looks intense as hell in that.

Speaking of Forest Whitaker, it's a good thing the Oscars are voted on days in advance as John Travolta's red carpet reminder to everyone that Forest was in Battlefield Earth could have worked against him.

Y'know, I might be more interested in Hollywood's exhortations that we should all do our part to prevent global warming if I hadn't seen all those people showing up in limos just a couple of hours before. When someone arrives on the red carpet driving a Yaris, I'll listen to their environmental warnings.

That's all I've got. See you guys next year.



Blogger Kate said...

Once again, you have hit the nail on the head. Re: Peter O'Toole, who has now DESERVED an Oscar 7 times at least, how many more years do they think he has? Eddie Murphy left immediately after his loss, but I don't think it was Ellen who drove him away. I fear you are in the minority thinking DeGeneres was the worst host ever. You must be too young to remember some of Bob Hope's years as host. Sadly, I am not. Maybe next year, we can all be in the same room for the Oscars...and it won't be a room in an Econolodge. What were you thinking???

9:15 PM  
Blogger Gryphon said...

I always heard Bob Hope revered as one of the best, but I haven't seen them so they may be historically rose-tinted. I haven't seen O'Toole's performance this year, but I'm hard pressed to begrudge Alan Arkin, who isn't young himself and put on one hell of a performance. Eddie Murphy's a whiner, and always has been.

As for "what was I thinking?" I was thinking the choice in Martin was between an Econolodge, a Day's Inn, and a Budget Inn (weekly rentals available!). The Econolodge in Chattanooga is actually not bad, so I went with the known commodity. Or so I thought.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

Say no more. I've been to Martin.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

And you were in a Martin hotel why?

Sorry, dude: I liked Ellen. Much better than anybody I've seen since Crystal.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

I stayed in several Martin hotels- all seedy- during my time with the College Bowl team; Martin Methodist used to host a big Junior Bird tournament there.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Gryphon said...

I was in a hotel in Martin because there was not a hotel in Dresden, where my meeting was. It was either stay in Martin or drive 4.25 hours one way the morning of the meeting, putting me leaving my house at 4:30 am. I don't do well at 4:30 am. That is, at times, a proper time to go to bed, but it is never a proper time to arise, much less get into a car.

11:51 PM  

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