Random Thoughts: The Plagiarism

The good thing about having an editor is that you can steal their stuff and they don't get pissed off about it. They just chalk it up to artistic strangeness, thank the literary gods that the column showed up on time for once, and edit politely. So when Darth Kel posted a couple of "Random Thoughts" columns on her blog, the little hamster wheel in my skull began to move. Perhaps I could steal the idea, er "pay homage" to my dear editor, manage to make a rare deadline, and keep my very own Annie Wilkes, Kate, from kidnapping me, chopping off my legs, and forcing me to write columns on an old manual typewriter for her private pleasure.

But I digress... Random Thoughts, eh? Right. That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. Random Thoughts.

• Why is it that cheerleaders are ALWAYS cheerleading? Little kid cheerleaders, high school cheerleaders, or college cheerleaders. They're easy to pick out. They stand in places like the grocery store staring blankly at the creamed corn and run through the hand motions, silently mouthing the words, looking like a person afflicted with some sort of twitchy muscle disease. That or a person who really, really loves creamed corn. It's just odd. You never see the star high school running back take out the old guy on aisle 4 with a flying tackle...
• Guinness in the bottle is not nearly as good as Guinness on tap, but Guinness of any kind is a damn sight better than Budweiser in any form...
• Alton Brown is making polenta right now on Food TV. I've never made polenta. I smell a cooking experimentation night on the horizon. My poor wife...
• Where is Nantucket and why do all the filthy limericks involve people from there?
• The new season of Six Feet Under is back on HBO. Praise be to all that is good and wonderful. My TV is fun again.
• Bob Dylan's doing the Amazon.com tenth anniversary free webcast show. It takes a little of the pain out of missing he and Willie Nelson at Greer Stadium later this much, but not much of it...
• I feel like a curmudgeon now. I remember the day Amazon.com opened its doors. They only sold books and no one thought they'd last a year. I remember not long after they opened up, they started giving away ten 56k modems (bleeding edge tech back then) a day to random people just for visiting their site. I won one of them but my crappy phone lines still connected at 28.8k. That was heartbreaking.
• God I miss the early days of the internet. I got so much free crap from people who practically gave their stores away just to convince people to try "E-Commerce". Course, they're all bankrupt now, but I still have the stuff.
• If Darth Kel ever makes it back to Nashville, she damn well better come visit me. She hasn't seen me since I got married and I miss her black-armor clad air of menace (but friendly menace...)
• I got the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2 this week as a gift from my wonderful wife. I love The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, etc. but Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and the Warner Brothers crew still hold the title for the greatest cartoon series ever, hands down. I've been watching these things since I was old enough to get TV and they still make me laugh.
  

Well, it's late and the wife is giving me THE LOOK which usually means if I don't come to bed soon, I'll be bedding down in the recliner. So that's all folks.

-Gryph

"This song is just six words long, this song is just six words long..."
-Al Yankovic

NP: Los Lonely Boys: S/T